Mirrors don’t lie...

“The mirror of this new dressing table has some fault. It gives a little distorted image – a little horizontal distortion”. My wife chuckled ,”Mirrors don’t lie my dear – you have put on weight” Well, I hated hearing this but I guess she was right! Sometimes it is really difficult to accept what you see in the mirror –it contradicts the image that you have in your mind. If you think you have a great voice as you merrily sing – just record your singing next time you sing and try listening to the recording – you will exactly know what I mean!

The mirror took me to an incident long back when I was studying in final year graduation. Though I studied in one of the best schools that time, I studied in vernacular medium. Conversing fluently in English had almost become an ambition that looked more like a mirage. I was literally wrestling with English language – I had aborted reading about 25-30 novels after struggling with first twenty pages, I had developed a strong nausea for news-reading as I struggled with the pages of Times. Otherwise life was pretty alright, I had great friends and couldn’t have asked for a better quality of student life. I was also the elected secretary of my college which had given me rights to strut around like a proud rooster. Even when I sat in the library, it was not without the group of friends. It was one of those lazy afternoons in the library. My friends and me were sitting around in library with books in front. I guess no-one would have turned more than 2 pages in an hour. We just loved to idle away in the library discussing life! “Hmm, I don’t know – I am still not happy with my English speaking” I almost said to myself. A friend sitting next to me looked at me and started laughing. I asked her “what’s funny?” “Your problem is you think in Marathi (my mother tongue), then translate it in English by checking grammar and all. By the time you are ready to speak its too late.” As she said this in front of so many, my pride was hurt. When you are 19-20 years, what hurts you is not only the content but also the fact that a girl speaks to you like that in public, especially when I had a reputation to defend!! I was almost stunned – but something in me stopped me from reacting back – I just kept quiet. She was a very dear friend and couldn’t have meant bad! What happened in a few months that followed is really hard to describe. Around six months later as I appeared for one of my MBA admission interviews, a lady on the interview panel asked me “Are you really from vernacular medium?” I was so pleased that I was not even bothered about the result of the interview!!

..... I have thought about this incident many a times in my mind over past few years but I am yet to reach any definite cause-effect relationship between the incident in college library and my progress in spoken English...... I have speculated but no clear answer yet......

.....May be more often than not I was always surrounded by friends whom I completely trusted...... we never bothered about being politically correct to each other....we just used to speak out our heart....

Many a times an awareness about a problem solves more than half of it.... the trick is you need someone to tell you the problem bluntly....As the years pass by sometimes our ability take feedback diminishes ..... its our success, growing pride.... insecurity whatever it may be.....but more often than not we surround ourselves with people who are politically correct with no sharp edges...... I think this is where we start losing the game. Actually you always need people around you whom you can trust and who can call spade a spade..... simply because mirrors don’t lie!

Growing with your child

“My friends are going to stay over with us for the week-end” she told me third time almost in a span of an hour. “Ya sure, I am not travelling this weekend so I can take you people around”, I offered to be a good host ..... she was somehow irritated. I was thoroughly confused now. “What happened?” I asked out of sheer frustration. “Are you going to be like this?” she asked looking at me from head to toe. “What do you mean?” “Are you going to move around in the house wearing shorts like this when my friends are around?” “Oh!”

Next day morning as I dressed up at 7’o clock in the morning, my wife asked me “where are you going so early on a Saturday?” “Nowhere”...... “Then why are you dressed up?” I was trying to avoid the answer but finally blurted out, ”Because Janhavi’s friends are going to stay with us today and tomorrow”...... my wife burst out laughing and rushed to tell this to my mother ...... I feel like a guest in my own house if I have to be fully clad! And next two days I exactly felt like that.....
Of late I am being groomed day in day out ..... “why are you wearing this shirt?” “why not?” “It does not go well with that trouser” ..... “Its ok I’m going to the office not for a ramp walk” “Thats right but you don’t have to be funny” .... I give up!

Even when I had just started dating my wife (I mean my girlfriend whom I married later) I don’t remember paying particular attention to my looks and throughout my life I have maintained a fairly mediocre dress sense. With this background it is little gruesome for me to be under observation of my daughter all the time ....
“What’s her problem? Off late why is she doing this to me?” I asked my wife “Am I so embarrassing to her or something?”. “No, on the contrary, you are her hero, thats why she is so particular about you”......... I was quite relieved when she said “Shah Rukh Khan has started looking older after he developed six pack Abs. You should never do that”......

Now-a-days my daughter has an opinion on everything “I think congress will win the Lok sabha elections this time around” .....”Why don’t they just shoot the fools who shoot the tigers” ..... “I don’t think Kites will do well on Box Office” ..... I have no issues with all this......... The problem is very simple ... I desperately try to hold her childhood as tightly as I can and it is slowly but surely slipping away.......... I cannot resist the temptation of pulling her cheeks ...while she is busy admiring her own looks in the mirror ....... I can get very sentimental when she walks away to school and can’t resist calling her by her pet name ..... fully knowing the consequences of this blunder!!

I don’t think you feel childhood is a gift when you are a child! It is only when you grow up you realize what a gift it was. You then almost wait for your child’s childhood and try to hold it as tightly as you can while the child is desperate to escape from it ..... the conflict is never really between a parent and a child ..... it is between a parent and an adult who is often misunderstood as a child!
As my daughter falls asleep every night, I slowly walk over to her, pull her cheeks, ruffle her hair ...... the only problem seems to be with my eyesight now-a-days – somehow sometimes- my eyes get moist – I think I need to be careful!!