Even success hurts …

During early Seventies, Bollywood released its biggest blockbuster  – “Sholay”. It ran in the same movie hall for over five years and till date whenever it runs in cinema hall – there are many who cannot avoid the temptation.

Today I went to watch Sholay as it was released in new 3-D format. What defines its class is the movie released almost four decades ago appealed to my kids also. Actually it is a simple movie on the lines of good old western movies with horses and gunfight. Another peculiar point about this movie is it portrayed the most famous villain of Indian film history – dacoit Gabbar Singh – played my actor Amjad Khan who made his debut on screen with that role.

While watching the movie, I suddenly remembered an interview given by actor Amjad Khan to a magazine. I had read this interview more than couple of decades back and a peculiar statement in that interview lingered in my mind. Amjad Khan said, “Sholay ruined life of two people – Amjad Khan and Ramesh Sippy (director of the movie). Because whatever two of us did in professional life after Sholay was never appreciated – people said that it was not up to Sholay’s standard”……

One would think that Amjad must be grateful for getting such a dream role on his debut. Had he not acted in any film after that, he still would have been a legend in his own rights. As I thought more about that peculiar statement I realized that it was a statement from a sincere and sensitive professional. He must have equally poured his heart in his later roles. Being a refined actor it must have hurt him that those roles did not get their dues…….

I guess even success hurts. Sometimes you do certain stint passionately which gets you your glory. But it also gives you a brand which is difficult to shake off ….. Whatever you do in life after that, get compared with your glorious stint and though you yourself have enjoyed other stints, they never get the due recognition….. It can’t be easy and there are no simple answers

The more I think of, I admire Amjad Khan even more. Amjad Khan is no more in this world …. Otherwise I would have loved to tell him that apart from giving Hindi cinema its most celebrated villain, he has given us a something to think about with that one statement  - RIP Amjad Khan!

Walked to my birthplace Day 73 - 240 Kms done!

Ah! Finally covered 240 Km today on my birthday …… finishing this journey with a story close to my heart … a story that has guided me through life ….

There lived a man called Bhiku who was a devout follower of lord Shiva. Bhiku was a poor man and worked very hard for his living. He always cursed his misfortune and remained depressed most of the time. Bhiku lived in a small hut little away from the town. Road from the town to his house passed through a small forest. Bhiku walked alone on this road at the end of each day cursing his misfortune …

One day as he walked down the forest road, lord Shiva and lady Parvati were traveling through the heaven. Looking down at Bhiku, lady Parvati said, “O lord, this is not fair. He is such an ardent devotee and you are not doing anything to help him.” Lord Shiva sighed, “I would love to, but I can’t”. Lady Parvati said, “O mighty one, how can you say you can’t – I don’t believe this”. Lord Shiva being the evolved one knew better than to argue with his wife. He said, “Alright, tell me how I can help him.” Lady Parvati said, “He is walking down this lonely road. You can leave huge brick of gold in his path just ahead so that he can live happily after that.” “Ok. Is that all? “Yes”. Lord Shiva ensured that there was a huge gold brick just ahead on the road where bhiku walked….

Bhiku was busy cursing his misfortune as usual. Suddenly a thought came in his mind, “Right now I am quite fit – so I am at least able to earn my living – what would happen if I become physically disabled?” Bhiku stood there thinking about what would be the worst handicap. Then he decided that life would be worst if he became blind! “Luck is not on my side” Bhiku muttered “so let me practice it while I am on this lonely road, at least someone will not knock me down and if I really become blind I would be ok if I practice everyday.” Bhiku pulled out his handkerchief and tied it around his eyes to blindfold himself and resumed his walk … He came to the place where Lord had left the huge gold brick and stumbled over the brick. “this is what I was scared of, even on my daily path, walking will be difficult” Bhiku walked passed cursing his misfortune. Lord Shiva sighed and looked at his wife. She understood in an instant what he meant ….

This story talks about self-fulfilling prophecy. Whether god helps you or not, you always orient yourself based on your belief system and meet your prophecy. While you can admire your prophecy, you could have missed a fortune on the way if your prophecy is negative. Nobody has ever achieved anything by cynicism – keep hoping positive and you will find your gold!!

A walk to my birthplace Day 72 (236 Km covered so far)

The stories keep coming as I am just four Km away from my target …..

This is a story of the famous duo of Indian folklore – Emperor Akbar and his wise minister Birbal. Once, Akbar and Birbal were taking a walk in the royal garden. Among other things they discussed food. Emperor said “Eggplant  is a wonderful vegetable”. Birbal nodded “Yes Jahapanah (emperor), it is very good. It tastes great is also good for health”. Birbal described the qualities in detail. Hmmm… the emperor nodded and walked on.

Next day as they walked, the emperor suddenly said, “Birbal, eggplant is a worst vegetable”. Birbal immediately replied, “Khavind (master) I couldn’t agree more – it is terrible”. Emperor smiled and turned around and said sarcastically, “Birbal, don’t you have an opinion. Yesterday I said that eggplant is great to which you agreed wholeheartedly. Today when I said eggplant is worst, you seem to agree with that as well!” The wise Birbal stood there for a moment and quietly said, “Khavind (master), I am your servant and not eggplant’s servant!” Emperor smiled at his favorite minister’s wit and asked “What does that mean”. Looking at emperor’s mood Birbal mischievously said, “Khavind (master), you generally do not like opinion contradicting yours but eggplant does not mind!” Emperor burst out laughing….

There are many leaders who do not tolerate a dissent. With an authority they almost dictate what should be everyone’s opinion. Smart people working with them quickly figure it out and align themselves to the boss – never bothering to express their real opinion.

Funny part is many leaders do not even realize this and bask in the glory of their ideas. They also fool themselves by thinking that they have a great wavelength with their team! What they lose out is numerous possibilities that were never expressed and may settle for suboptimal solutions!

So, if you feel that you have a great wavelength with your team, please watch out for eggplant syndrome!!

A walk to my birthplace Day 71 (230 Km covered so far)

As I walk closer to my goal, stories read as child keep coming to mind thick and fast ….

There lived a king who was one of the most powerful kings of his time. He was popular amongst his subjects and never gave up a single opportunity to show off his powers. Royal procession on festival days was a ritual, king cherished the most. He mounted a big mighty elephant as a part of his royal procession. Crowd used to cheer the king as the procession passed through crowded streets …..

… Once during a procession, a rustic man jumped up from the crowd and caught the royal elephant by its tail. With one jerk of his hand he made the mighty royal elephant sit down! The crowd was stunned for a moment and then there was a thunderous applause! The man smiled with an innocence of a child. King quickly regained his composure and rewarded the man with a bag of gold coins.

Back in the palace, the king paced nervously in his chamber … after some time he called for his wise old minister … Once the minister arrived king said, “The man who pulled down the elephant today looked innocent but he is mighty. Who knows, one day he might challenge me”. Sensing the king’s apprehension, the wise old minister asked the king not to worry about it. He promised the king that he will ensure that the rustic man would not even have strength to stop a horse in the next festive procession that was just a month away….

The wise minister made some inquiries about the rustic man- Bhima. Bhima was a carefree, happy-go-lucky son of a hunter who had grown up in jungle. He was an innocent man and had never harmed anyone. The minister then called Bhima to the palace. He offered the Bhima one of the finest rooms in the palace and cuisine Bhima had never dreamt of.  Once Bhima got used to the palace comfort, minister gave Bhima a small responsibility. Bhima was to light a lamp in the temple on the hill exactly before sunrise. Bhima felt obliged and started his duty. For the first time in his life Bhima had restless nights as he did not want to go wrong on his job.

A month later as the royal procession passed through the streets, the wise old minister challenged Bhima to stop the king’s horse the way he has stopped the elephant. Bhima smiled and moved ahead. As he tried to pull the horse, the horse dragged him!

Back in his palace, the king asked the minister about how he managed the coup. The wise old minister answered, “Your majesty, Bhima’s real strength was his carefree attitude. I gave him all material comforts and best of the cuisine. But I also gave him a small responsibility. Bhima was so addicted to the comfort that he started worrying about his responsibility. Once he stopped being carefree, I knew that he wouldn’t have a strength to even pull a horse!”

Remaining carefree is THE source of your strength. While it is good to chase comforts, be careful of what you are possibly trading off! 

A walk to my birthplace - Day 70 (225 Km covered so far)

As I walked someone honked behind. I looked back little irritated as I was walking on the footpath. I saw a car branded with “motor-training school” logo driven by a petrified man at the steering wheel. He was obviously nervous about learning the car and honking had nothing to do with me!

My mind went back to my motor driving school days. In the late eighties I enrolled for car driving. In those days you typically had to enroll with agencies that trained you basic car driving and got you the license. These agencies were popularly known as “motor-training schools”. The instructor used to pick you up from your designated spot to give a lesson on driving. Once you complete one month, the instructor would take a batch of four to the Regional Transport Office (RTO) to get you your license. On the way to RTO everyone would get to drive for one final round of practice ….

I was trained by an instructor called Yusufbhai. He was taking four of us to RTO. Turn by trun we all drove and finally it was Krishnan’s turn. Krishnan used to be nervous about his driving. He used to hold the steering wheel exactly the way someone would hold the rope hanging from the cliff. There was a fixed expression of amusement on his face – as if he was amused about the movement of the car. Krishnan started driving with his eye fixed on the road. As we drove there was a crater-like pothole on the road. Krishnan almost seemed to aiming for the pothole. Yusufbhai screamed “Krishnan khadda (pothole)”. Without taking his eyes off the road, Krishnan honked and took us through the pothole! Yusufbhai was furious – “Krishnan – do you think pothole will move aside when you honk!” – rest of us were in splits!

Well, we have our own ‘Krishnan’ moments in life. Sometimes we are so nervous about our tasks that there is no joy in moving towards our goal. Though you see a pothole, you forget that pothole will not move by making noise, you have to steer yourself clear of potholes. When we are tensed we just make unnecessary noise even though there is a steering wheel in our own hand!!!

A walk to my birthplace - Day 68 (215 Km covered so far)

As I come closer to my birthplace, random childhood memories kept coming to my mind. For some reason one picture comes vividly to my mind – school on Saturday! Saturday used to be a special day for many reasons. School used to start early morning and end well before noon. The pain of getting up early morning was not felt that sharply as Saturday used to be a special day when father used to come to drop me to school!

What was so special about that? I don’t know but as I walked along with him to school, I used to feel that he was the strongest man in the universe! He used to hold my school bag in just one hand and it still did not touch the ground! I think this is one of the earliest memories of my childhood. There is nothing special about it but, it is perhaps the defining picture of how secure the childhood felt! My story is common and perhaps every child feels the same way …

Once, my cousin had come to stay with us. He is around 12 years older to me. At that time he must be around 20 years old. I think he was a regular visitor to gym and had a well-toned body. When I looked at him, a doubt troubled my mind. Little disturbed, I asked him. “If there is a wrestling match, between you and Baba (my father), who will win?” He was little puzzled by the question – after all why would he have a wrestling match with his maternal uncle (my father)? Looking at my apprehension, he quickly recovered, smiled and answered, “Of course your father! No doubt about that!” I still feel the relief that I felt that day – it sounded so re-assuring!

For some reason this little incident stayed in my mind. Now when I am grown up, I sincerely appreciate my cousin’s sensitivity! He was just twenty and could have easily teased me otherwise. He just ensured that my father remained a hero in my mind ….

If we look around - we can see many heroes….. Our sweeper who cleans the staircases of our building generally comes with his little son …. His son always has a pride on his face as his father manages a big broom and cleans a step in one go! The pride on the little one’s face is exactly like what I must have had years back looking at my father ….  Everyone around us is a hero …. The problem is scarcity of wise men like my cousin!!

A walk to my birthplace - Day 67 (212 Km covered so far)

I was talking my friend who has run 25 marathons so far. He explained me interesting concepts called ‘pace setters’ and ‘bus’. Pace setters are experienced runners who can set a pace for a marathon based on terrain, whether conditions etc. They lead a group of runners to run the marathon as per the set pace and cover the race in target time. Group following ‘pace setter’ is called ‘bus’. Pace setter does not win marathon but the biggest joy is to take an entire group along to complete the marathon in a specified time. My friend told me about a pace-setter called Lizzy and asked me to look up her profile. Lizzy is a young runner who has come in top 3 in earlier marathons. Instead of focusing on getting her rank in the marathon, Lizzy has decided to be a ‘pace setter’ for the upcoming Marathon in Mumbai ……

Lizzy is a successful Financial Services professional who has turned entrepreneur.  Despite her extremely busy and competitive career, Lizzy trains seriously and has always come topper in many of the runs. She has also inspired many of her friends to take up running seriously and stay fit in life ….

Lizzy’s story intrigued me ….

Lizzy comes from a profession where many compete purely to win. That becomes your second nature.... be it career or everyday life. Lizzy has chosen not to compete despite a chance of winning. She has chosen to help others attain the joy of completing a marathon….

I have been walking for a few days to attain my desired goal and sometimes find it tough. Hats off to Lizzy who will run this marathon to help others achieve their goals!

A walk to my birthplace Day 66 (208 Km covered so far)

Weekend always helped. Walked 8 Km in the evening and now a distance of covering 240Km by 18^th looks pretty ok.

As I walked today, the theme of wisdom continued in my mind. While yesterday I narrated a story of father and son, today I am going to share a real life case that was shared with me by one of my colleagues.

One of the leading FMCG Companies faced a peculiar issue. Some of the cartons shipped out by them to the distributors, that were supposed to be filled with toothpaste packs, were found empty! This was a huge embarrassment for company’s reputation. The company set up a competent task force and also appointed a consultant. Finally they came out with a solution that included an ultra-sensitive landing pad at the end of the conveyor belt. This included integration with IT system and an alarm system. Whenever an empty box came out of the conveyor belt, the landing pad would sense it and set an alarm. It would also generate a trigger for  IT system. Company spent a total sum of about half a million dollars but the problem was finally solved.

The alarm went off for the first few days ensuring that no empty carton was shipped out. After about 10/15 days the alarm stopped but there was no problem of empty cartons as well. Everyone was little puzzled and the task force decided to visit the site. When they visited, they saw an elderly worker working closer to the system they had installed. There was also a big table-fan running in full speed next to conveyor belt. “What is this?” they asked. The elderly worker said with a slight irritation, “That thing was ringing a bell whenever an empty box came on. It disturbed me while working. So, I kept this fan. Whenever there is an empty box, it gets blown away by the fan!” The learned men looked at each other sheepishly and the half million spent haunted them!!

Hilarious as it may sound, different versions of this story regularly happen in many organizations. People who work on the ground are never involved in solving problems to which they are closest to! That not only causes cost over-runs but somewhere the wisdom gets buried over a period!

A walk to my birthplace - Day 65 (200 Km covered so far)

A farmer had a huge piece of land and generations of hard work had ensured that the farmer was well off. Farmer had spent all his life working hard but could not attend school. He thought that his son should get what he himself could not get in life.

So the farmer sends the son off to city for education. He finally ensures that his son takes a degree in agriculture from best of the universities. When son returns home equipped with his degree, the proud father takes him to the farm. Father takes him to the tree where the son used to spend most of his time as a child. As they stand near the tree, father asks, “Can you tell me something about this tree” hoping to connect his son to his past / his roots.

Ignorant of his father’s emotion, son looks at the tree and shakes his head. “Father, the way this tree is slanted and the way the leaves are exposed to sunlight, I don’t think this son will bear good mangoes this year”. Father nods, “Interesting that you could make it out based on this observation”. With a smirk the  son says, “Well I have studied best technology when it comes to agriculture.” Father sighs, “Hmm …. You are right. This tree will not bear good mangoes and not only this year but never …. Because it is not a mango tree!!”

Well, I guess the story does not ridicule education, it just gives a word of caution …. Wisdom earned over the years with experience is always valuable. When we approach our work with all our formal education, lets remember that there may be someone who may not be as fortunate as us but would still have the gift of wisdom

A walk to my Birthplace - Day 63 (194 Km covered so far)

A little boy moved into a new town. His parents bought a nice independent house in this small town. The boy loved spending most of his  time in the nice garden in backyard of his house. This was maintained by a wise old Gardner who also worked for the previous owners. The boy would spend hours together looking at flowers and bees.

One morning, as the boy moved around the plants, he observed something fascinating. A cocoon was opening up and a caterpillar was transforming into a butterfly. He stood transfixed there watching the transformation. It was a painful process and at a point the boy could no longer withstand it. He bent forward and helped the butterfly to come out. He cracked open the cocoon only slightly so that the butterfly could come out easily. But alas! what came out was a crippled butterfly with wings not fully developed.

Crestfallen, the little boy walked up to the Gardner and told him the entire episode. The wise old man smiled and said ,"when a butterfly comes out of a cocoon it is extremely painful for the butterfly. But the effort it takes to wriggle out of cocoon also ensures that butterfly builds enough strength in its body and wings to live a healthy life. If you crack the cocoon, you are actually depriving the butterfly an opportunity to build its life support system. I know a butterfly looks very delicate but you need to trust it."

We reach out to people when we see them in their struggle. If we reach out to be with them, it may help but we reach out with our own solutions so that they can quickly come out of the problem. Many a times what people facing problems need, is confidence and trust so that they come out of their own cocoon. They not only figure out a solution but also figure out how to solve the problem!

I know it is tempting to help but please remember "help can harm"

A walk to my birthplace Day 60 (190 Km covered so far)

Yesterday I walked 3 Km but couldn’t write anything. I had a packed day, but cannot say I did not have time to write. I sat down to write but felt strongly against it so did not push it. In fact I had a very strong feeling similar to the feeling when I ‘had’ to do my homework in school!

Today being Sunday, I decided to take a long walk and as I walked for a long 8 km, I kept thinking about yesterday. Today as I walked around, I wondered about why should I feel so strongly against writing – something which I had taken up voluntarily and was actually enjoying quite a bit!

I distinctly avoid walking around a park or a playground in circles. I generally walk around different routes. Every day as much as possible I do a slight deviation to my route walked a day before. It’s just a habit.

Today as I walked around I suddenly realized, I was exactly taking the route used earlier, so I came back and took a slightly different route. I chuckled at my own compulsion to do little changes in the route every day. Apart from the funny side of this small incident, something else clicked …..

… For a long time I have kept myself from any sort of fixed pattern. Perhaps that is also the reason behind avoiding walking around circles in a park. Patterns give rise to a sort of repetitive predictability. Things become ritualistic and soon lose charm. This is pretty much true about my career as I have often sought new challenges and done some pretty crazy things.  Now I understood my yesterday’s feeling about writing. Every time anything becomes close to a ritual, my mind revolts.  There are various obvious advantages of this approach – you always look out for little breath of freshness, always try out new things and not afraid to walk on new paths.

However, patterns are not essentially bad. In fact, most of the times, patterns simplify things and make life little easier. Then why do I have a phobia about any patterns getting formed? Is phobia for patterns itself a pattern?  maybe I need to move away from it or find a better way to deal with it!!!!!!! 

A walk to my birthplace Day 58 (179 Km covered so far)

Parenting a teenager can be a learning experience of its own kind. My daughter who is 16 now grew up in the joint family in her initial years. I guess kids understand the ‘seniority’ much better than we give them credit for. With my parents around, my daughter treated Pallavi and me more as peers than as parents. I still remember a funny incident when my mother scolded Janhavi – my daughter - for saying something to me. “You don’t talk to elders like that!” my mother scolded her. Janhavi was puzzled and said “but I am talking to HIM” pointing at me. That clearly defined her assessment of my status in the family hierarchy!!

I moved out of Mumbai for my job quite some time back. That made us a nuclear family but our relationships once defined remained pretty much same. Janhavi always considered Pallavi and me as her equals than parents. As she grew up, our expectations slowly started changing and we started asking her to share some responsibilities. We noted a peculiar irritating trend off late – if we ask her to do something, she takes her own sweet time and sometimes is quite stubborn. I can’t even call her lazy because whenever she cooks on her own or any such stuff she is very meticulous and quite fast! We got little more puzzled when we met her teacher at school last year. Her teacher told  us in front of the whole class “She is such a sweet girl that I wish more students have an attitude like her”. We wondered if she reserves a special treatment for Pallavi and me at home. We also have our standard share of tiffs with her on her speed of response at home!

Yesterday, we organized a small get together for my father’s friends as my father was in Pune. My father and his friends got together along with their wives. We were generally present around as everyone in that group belonged to an age group of 75 years and above. While our 6 years old son was excited with so many sets of grandparents, Janhavi moved around efficiently to ensure that all the senior citizens were served food and were comfortable in general. She also went up and down to ensure that anyone who was leaving got a proper transport. Many of the guests while leaving told Pallavi and me that we were so fortunate to have a young daughter who is so loving and caring.

I wondered about contrasting situation at home and suddenly a realization struck me like a lightening. My daughter does not have any problem of working hard as me and my wife have started worrying about off late. She just does not take orders from us whom she considers peers. She happily works on her own as our equal or for really ‘senior’ people. It’s entirely our choice whether to feel worried for her not listening to us ‘promptly’ or feel delighted that she considers me and my wife as her friends!! 

A walk to my birthplace Day 57 (175 Km covered so far)

I met a friend today who has decided to settle down in Japan. His company recently decided to close down Japan operations but he decided to continue. When I met him, he looked pretty calm despite the need to search for a new job as quickly as possible.

We got talking about the country in general. He told me an interesting story. He went to the local government office to change his medical insurance from company’s scheme to that of Government scheme. He met the concerned official and told him about his need. The government official made him comfortable. He was concerned about my friend being an expat with no job in hand at the moment. The official explained him the whole process and ensured that my friend got medical insurance cards in 15 minutes!! That itself would have been a great story but the official did not stop there. He told him about how to make best use of the scheme and about various other options. Then he also sat down with my friend and gave him details about which government agency to contact for unemployment benefits! Nowhere during the conversation, my friend felt any ‘sympathy’. It was respectful information sharing without being judgmental or inquisitive about the past. It was just a pure compassion coupled with efficiency!

My friend was touched. It was heartening to see compassion shown by someone who was least expected to show it. It nudged my friend to think positively about his situation and more importantly strengthened his resolve to stay in the country.

It actually does not cost anything to be more compassionate even when you do a routine job. How many times do we really practice it with people around us?

World will be a better place if we realize that our compassion creates courage in someone. It ignites hope and an ignited mind always looks for solutions far more effectively. That’s all the help that is needed most of the times!!

A walk to my birthplace Day 56 (170 Km covered so far)

The year started with a good long walk of 10 Km. To me walking long distance is one of the best ways to indulge in oneself. It’s almost like a meditation!

A few years back I was transferred to Mumbai and my company had given me a lovely accommodation at Malabar Hill – arguably one of the most premium places to stay in the country! Well, my excitement was not so much about the hype around the place but it was more about the proximity to Marine Drive – popularly known as “Queen’s necklace”. It is a long stretch of road curving along the seashore. It starts from Mumbai’s famous beach – Chowpati and ends with Mumbai’s Manhattan – Nariman Point. Marine Drive was always special for all of us who grew up in Mumbai.

While staying at Malabar Hill, I used to park my car at Chowpati and then walk all along Marine Drive to Nariman Point. With old Mumbai buildings on one side and huge expanse of Arabian Sea on other side, it was a lovely route for morning walk. They had also calibrated the road with clear markings at every 100M, so one could always measure the distance covered. I used to enjoy my walk with salty breeze caressing me. It was a distance of about 2 ½ Km one way from Chowpati to a place called Jazz By the Bay. I used to enjoy my 5 Km walk starting from Chowpati and back.

Now-a-days in Pune I often walk from my house in Baner to Pune University and back. Today as I walked on that route, I realized that the distance I cover on this route is 3 Km one-way. I was little surprised when I realized that this route is actually longer than Marine Drive! Well, something felt strange because I never felt the distance covered here as I used to feel on Marine Drive. Walking on Marine Drive, I always used to get this feeling of really walking long distance!

I wondered – what could be the reason? May be because of the open sea on one side, you can see the entire stretch of the curving road in front of you when you walk on Marine Drive. But it looked a little simplistic….

May be Marine Drive has this aura which my lovely, homely Baner Road does not have …  Marine Drive has a  grandeur associated with it … so even though the distance covered on Marine Drive is less than Baner Road, it feels more!

Well, it happens to all of us that grandeur of people / places may shroud hard facts ….. my new year’s resolution would be to look beyond grandeur!!