A walk to my birthplace Day 60 (190 Km covered so far)

Yesterday I walked 3 Km but couldn’t write anything. I had a packed day, but cannot say I did not have time to write. I sat down to write but felt strongly against it so did not push it. In fact I had a very strong feeling similar to the feeling when I ‘had’ to do my homework in school!

Today being Sunday, I decided to take a long walk and as I walked for a long 8 km, I kept thinking about yesterday. Today as I walked around, I wondered about why should I feel so strongly against writing – something which I had taken up voluntarily and was actually enjoying quite a bit!

I distinctly avoid walking around a park or a playground in circles. I generally walk around different routes. Every day as much as possible I do a slight deviation to my route walked a day before. It’s just a habit.

Today as I walked around I suddenly realized, I was exactly taking the route used earlier, so I came back and took a slightly different route. I chuckled at my own compulsion to do little changes in the route every day. Apart from the funny side of this small incident, something else clicked …..

… For a long time I have kept myself from any sort of fixed pattern. Perhaps that is also the reason behind avoiding walking around circles in a park. Patterns give rise to a sort of repetitive predictability. Things become ritualistic and soon lose charm. This is pretty much true about my career as I have often sought new challenges and done some pretty crazy things.  Now I understood my yesterday’s feeling about writing. Every time anything becomes close to a ritual, my mind revolts.  There are various obvious advantages of this approach – you always look out for little breath of freshness, always try out new things and not afraid to walk on new paths.

However, patterns are not essentially bad. In fact, most of the times, patterns simplify things and make life little easier. Then why do I have a phobia about any patterns getting formed? Is phobia for patterns itself a pattern?  maybe I need to move away from it or find a better way to deal with it!!!!!!!