A walk to my birthplace Day 58 (179 Km covered so far)

Parenting a teenager can be a learning experience of its own kind. My daughter who is 16 now grew up in the joint family in her initial years. I guess kids understand the ‘seniority’ much better than we give them credit for. With my parents around, my daughter treated Pallavi and me more as peers than as parents. I still remember a funny incident when my mother scolded Janhavi – my daughter - for saying something to me. “You don’t talk to elders like that!” my mother scolded her. Janhavi was puzzled and said “but I am talking to HIM” pointing at me. That clearly defined her assessment of my status in the family hierarchy!!

I moved out of Mumbai for my job quite some time back. That made us a nuclear family but our relationships once defined remained pretty much same. Janhavi always considered Pallavi and me as her equals than parents. As she grew up, our expectations slowly started changing and we started asking her to share some responsibilities. We noted a peculiar irritating trend off late – if we ask her to do something, she takes her own sweet time and sometimes is quite stubborn. I can’t even call her lazy because whenever she cooks on her own or any such stuff she is very meticulous and quite fast! We got little more puzzled when we met her teacher at school last year. Her teacher told  us in front of the whole class “She is such a sweet girl that I wish more students have an attitude like her”. We wondered if she reserves a special treatment for Pallavi and me at home. We also have our standard share of tiffs with her on her speed of response at home!

Yesterday, we organized a small get together for my father’s friends as my father was in Pune. My father and his friends got together along with their wives. We were generally present around as everyone in that group belonged to an age group of 75 years and above. While our 6 years old son was excited with so many sets of grandparents, Janhavi moved around efficiently to ensure that all the senior citizens were served food and were comfortable in general. She also went up and down to ensure that anyone who was leaving got a proper transport. Many of the guests while leaving told Pallavi and me that we were so fortunate to have a young daughter who is so loving and caring.

I wondered about contrasting situation at home and suddenly a realization struck me like a lightening. My daughter does not have any problem of working hard as me and my wife have started worrying about off late. She just does not take orders from us whom she considers peers. She happily works on her own as our equal or for really ‘senior’ people. It’s entirely our choice whether to feel worried for her not listening to us ‘promptly’ or feel delighted that she considers me and my wife as her friends!!